A Fairy's heart

2009-10-17T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hello People...I'm So So Sorry...wanna apologise...by the way...i'm too busy with my life right now..so mean time u guys can check me up at Facebook...add me at shidahfazura@hotmail.com...okays..cya take care people!!! Thanx for reading..Love you all...

2009-09-07T23:29:00.001-07:00

i left with one more week with my classmate then all of us will disperse to do our attachment n view on individual future career.... = ( mood is upset)..Anyway..people...i would like to take this Opportunity to wish All Muslim People and friends "Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri"...Please forgive and forget of all the past that i've done any wrong or sort off called "hurts".......May God bless you....= )

2009-08-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

Dance Dance annnnd............

Exam Exam Exam Examination soon...ooo..my dear...

2009-08-15T20:37:00.000-07:00

Ku punya Hasrat,
Tak terungkapkan,
Hanya dalam memori dan hati yang pernah ku simpan,
Berat menerima kau pergi tanpa alasan juga kau buat aku bertanya...

Beribu senandung yang ku nyanyikan,
Terlibur lara bak suka mendahaganya sukaku,
kata kemanisanya untuk dia kekasih sepanjang hidup,
ku masih merindukannya...

Apakah ku amat beerti di mata engkau?
Telah ku ukir wajahmu lama dalam hati aku,
Namun kau hilang dan tak kan kembali juga,
ku merasa sepi ku sendiri...

2009-08-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

NDP Celebration'09 on 7th August in Campus was really an awesome Day!!! I enjoyed myself in school Celebrations with councillors and fellow students..Wow, i still remembered the Involvment of NDP'09 Class Deco Competition, the GOH walked around the school to checked on each individual classses decorations and gave points.Anyway Congrats, to the three classes... I've felt very lucky that i have the opportunity to talk a couple of words with the GOH while shaking his hand...We have 16 Stall Bazaar in our campus...Unfortunately the canteen was closed and there were only a few of F & B Stalls...Luckily i could tasted the "Nasi Lemak" and thanks to my sweet friend who gave the food to me...hahahax (MACEH Banyak2) = )

2009-08-10T20:13:00.000-07:00

I am totally busy wit my school, work and councillors event.. and due to that..
i oftenly skip meals again too bad for me...hehe
Anyway people, there's Mr. Sumbody who take cares of my meals daily...well..i really appreciate him...he's caring and sincerely person to me..and now i was like....i dun't know how to thank to him for all his kindness to me..(May Allah bless you)..Amin..

2009-07-22T03:40:00.000-07:00

LOTS LOTS LOTS LOTS ...........of Assignments to do..../ to Finish......i'm back like a buzzing Bee.....

2009-07-18T19:49:00.000-07:00

After Collapsed,Meilin bought for me a Bandito Pocket
My younger brother, " kak tak makan biar ayim yang makan" hehhe
The wrong face hahax
Ny yun "My pharmacy bought for me a milo thank you Ng Yun so sweet of you.."
Me and Ng Yun "the Pharmacy and Pharmacy Assistant(shahidah)"
I noticed my face was totally pale after the accident
Yesterday was a terrific day...it was my break time at work around 8.05 pm.
i quickly took my purse n go to get my dinner...

I have no idea which way to go either to which fast food restaurant..near-by there.
At last i made my mind to go to KFC. As i walk-in to the KFC, i could say that the queue was horrible. I was stuck in the middle of the queue and my mind asked me not to go on or stop queuing. At last i changed my mind of not continued queuing up as my head started to get a headache..my heart told me to go back at the pharmacy(workplace) and stop buying food.

This was the time when my heartbeat beats very fast.
I went down by the escalator but the Aunties and Nyonya's in front of me blocking me up.When i wanted to say Excuse-me half-way through my eyes are closed and my mind are totally blanked..i was black-out..I've fallen at the escalator.I heard somebody shouted " Please stop the Escalator!!!!" Stop the machine!!!!" it was around 9.10pm.

I couldn't opened my eyes till they carried me to the side of the escalator. I forced my eyes to open but i can't, my breathing is normal. It's just that i couldn't opened my eyes. i was crowded by the Securities, Customer Service staff and my workplace staffs they did really helped me from getting further accident at the escalator..Finally i opened my eyes slowly and i tried to got up while walking slowly back to my workplace...people was looking at me and i felt embarassingly..i can't remember whats happening to me until after 10 minutes then my mind started to tell me the stories..ouh ya.i remembered..

There were 2 Paramedic came to me and took my blood test and blood pressure..it was 100/48...that means my blood is low and started to increase up slowly again..

Thanks to the 2 Paramedic which was Ms Haslina and Mr Ashraf..they told me either to follow them to the hospital or not. I made my mind not to go to hospital as i already troubled people a lot. I just do not want to heavy my dad. I felt wrong.

I was helped by my staff friend, Meilin buying me some food to eat before i go home..she told me that my face was totally pale..i can't do anything till then my Brother took me back home rided by car..as before that my 2 brothers took me to the Al- Amin restaurant to eat Nasi Ayam and teh tarik.

After that they took me home...

Finally, i would like to thank those people who has helped me and i felt so wrong because i troubled people a lot. Lastly, thank you Haslina and Ashraf..you guys are great Paramedic. Although i saw Ashraf was kindda blur when he's taking my blood pressure..i guess his new to medic work but his great too...thank you so much to Allah and all of you people who has helped me..I'm ok right now..

2009-07-18T00:23:00.000-07:00

I always hear to this when i'm feel down.....toodles

2009-07-17T19:54:00.001-07:00

Hey people. I would like to share with you guys...On the 15 July 2009 at 3.00pm i've attended the Malay Dialogue Session at ITE Dover with the MP or Minister which is ( Mr Zainuddin, Dr Yaakob Ibrahim, Dr Faisal, Dr Malikki Osman n etc) i've met with the Yayasan Mendaki Group people too...They are great....The experience talking session with the Minister and the Mendaki was really an awesome...cool right. We like to share the view of : How nowadays Malay People lived and reacted towards Singapore, What else to improved the growth of successful Malays in Singapore. There are more of Q & A session.

We attended the refreshment too..and the food was so awesome till then we conquor the chocolate ice-cream puff till finished. (keje sape tu..) Hahahax

There are, Noodles,Nuggets, Fish fillet, Honey Chicken(awesome ONE),CRAB MEAT, sausages, chocolate ice-cream puff (wonderful)

Nice right....
Delicious too..
i know what you want to say Nasrul , " Shidah ni makan je tahu.."hahhahx

I got a chance to talk to Minister Dr Malikki Osman hahahhax...he's so cool...not bad although i'm a person who used to asked a lot of questions but he still willing to answer all my questions...hahhax best best best..

Unfortunately, i couldn't have a chance to take couple of photos with him..

Wow, he's great....
Anyway, i salute the Ministers...they are Nice...they motivated us to be better people till then..
The session ended at 5.10pm...

2009-07-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

Yeah, nothing much actually..

After go shopping with my mum at Golden Landmark in the afternoon..looking for clothes and etc.

Of course!!!!!!!!!!!
i did saw "SHAHIDAH Travel & Tours Pte Ltd"
hahahax(dreams come true..) hee..

2009-07-06T03:19:00.000-07:00

Hey, yeah, it's on the Saturday 4th July, my nursing friend Fadilah, asked me out to accompany her and as to release our stress in mind while updated our lifes stories too..i had a great fun outing together with her @ Chinese Garden. Unfortunately, i have to go to work later then...but before that i and her had a most fun time together...one thing i did saw a statue of snakes which representing the animal year (chinese calender) read born in 1989 : A person is observance, humor, romantic and listener..hahahx..nice..thanx sis....

2009-07-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

Shidahfazura feat Elzuan ( Bike accident of me and him)
Farah and Indra at Macdonald @ 11pm tired....

hey guys, i pop-up again.....hahhax
anyway i had a great experienced yesterday ( 30th June 09). Those SC Members who involved at the East Coast Outing for sure knows and felt the experience whole day there..yeah..

We had a great pleasure fun times playing games at the beach and cycling for whole evening time...thanks to Basirun and the Excos for organizing the events..

i do love it too..although i've experienced swallowing a few sands in my mouth when playing the games violently..hahhax

Secondly, i have great experienced too cycling for more than 5 hours till late night and i had a backaches and sprain legs..but whatever it is, it was absolutely awesome hahax

I just couldn't take out my mind of the bike accident cases around 9.45pm when on the way back to East Coast from Changi Village..

I guess i saw something strange happening to me till i braked and jerked my bike all of a sudden, by then, i don't realized that this will caused my friend to hit me from the back without noticed,the back wheel of my bike skidded and i fell off. It was badly hurt as i thought that i've flew off and fell to the drain death..

i was totally scared...but luckily my senses of sight and hearing still managed to get me back and i saw the faces of my friend...thank you guys for the helped..i love you all..

Thirdly, the ridiculous joke my friend did during night cycling along Changi, my friend had stop his bike and sat aside. The silent night teaches me to be alert always and help for those who needed first aid quickly..by then, i've stopped the bike after i saw him and helped him on what's happening after he cried for pain loudly...when i took it seriously, he was laughing at me....and he played tricks on me...it was around 10 pm night and he still have the sense of playing jokes around..i was treated like a fooled and i've slapped him hardly hahhahax he shouted "Ouch!!" and thats the pain he needed from me hehehe....anyway it was nice memories with him.

Finally, my bike was chased by the black dog, i'm phobia with dogs and i will kept a meter distance away whenever i saw doggies, during this time, at 10.45pm night, i've rided the two seat bike which was Sufian in front of me..he was taking his sweet time cycling as i was shouting and screaming panickly to paddle faster as the dog was just behind my wheel it was 10 cm apart me and the dog...i was afraid and this was the very first time i get near to the dog.. i just scared if the dog jump over me or what. If the dog did that, i will climbed over sufian's shoulder if he still take a sweet time to paddle.. i forced him to paddle faster then.. that blacky dog barked at us when we started speeding..hehehee

Till then all of us, hurt our legs and cramped after using our whole muscle energy for more then 4 hours journey....it was amazing nice, great and awesome!!!!!! hahahahx

ok then toodles...

2009-06-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

Memories with Michael Jackson.....my younger brother and Mr Michael Jackson or Muhammad Mikaeel...we appreciate n love much to Michael...he's done a lot to the music World till the End hope his Rest In Peace...Semoga rohnye Muhammad Mikaeel mencucuri rahmat..s.a.w..

2009-06-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

hey people......today is 24th june '09 hahaha
yeah.....results are out @8am.....
people too busy asking about how's the results??? hehhehe
RELAXED RELAXED RELAXED people....

Ahakz, now why everyone asking about shahidah's results????
hehehe

JENG JENG JENG!!!!!!

okay okay
this morning i chat wit two people...
both from SC Members.....
so, they too asking about my results...
they are doing great actually...
the war exams was over and time to celebrate

so, how about my results???
yeah,
stay cool-
i have an exellence results, Alhamdulilah..
after i put in the best effort for my papers, i managed to get GPA 3.3
i hope i will get to 3.6 and above..for the next semester....i know its complicated to get GPA4 for certain courses...but no matter what, You just need to strive the very best for yours...

Last word, STUDY HARD, PRAY HARD....insyaAllah......hehhehe

2009-06-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

hey...nw waitta for my examination results tomorro 24 june '09...!!!!

2009-06-23T00:09:00.000-07:00

My story begin,

@10pm , having an accident today,i wanted to cook after i felt so freaking hungry, i know that i can't cook for long hours in the kitchen because of the smoke gas..., i can't inhale too much smokes, the fire got huge all of a sudden. I have to stay away from the area, after it has slows down, i straightly off the gas, i notice that the pan was half burn..

When my mum got home and saw that, she expect me to clear all the mess including to see the pan to be white rather than burning black...i have to scrub the black dirt burn on the pan till it can be seen white again...

As a punishment, i can't sleep till the pan looks ok....

One more, i was accused saying that " malas(lazy) daughter in the world" after i've done a lot on doing house stuff since morning....

i know only one who observed me doing everything that is GOD (ALLAH) i don't know why mostly my life always covered with unhappiness after i gave all my sincere heart in whatever i'm doing..

("Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat ketabahan hambamu ini.." amin..)

2009-06-22T23:48:00.000-07:00

I met Farhan ( Chief Blaze camp ) today, he came by to my Guardian Pharmacy.

He bought this :-

- Gillete Mach3 Turbo Razor(shaver) = $11.90
-Dermo-Ex wp Toner = $14.90
-Dermo-Ex Moist Cream = $25.90
-T/med whitening = $3.00

Total = $55.70

i gave him my staff discount 10% price....

discount 10% price = $ 50.13

He paid by Visa credit card....

I asked him where does he go after this??
He told me that he gonna travel to DUBAI soon....this are some of his items to bring there.....

Finally, i ended by saying Have a nice day to him and he thanked me for the discount hahaha
what a lucky person and customer he was...First, he saw me working, he couldn't say anywords and he spokes to me like " i didn't know that you were working here??" his shocking face....makes me wanna laugh..hehehe nice metting him and i could not realized that was my next customer...he looked totally different without his spectacle hahha anyway he still looking good uh....hahhaa ok then enough...stay cool always-

2009-06-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

Hey, now waiting for my exams results....jeng jeng jeng!!! hahaha
yeah the results on 24th june '09 so, waitta come back with the results after 24 june'09....yeah hopefully GPA 4!!!! hehehe

2009-06-18T03:35:00.000-07:00

Here is what i'm waiting for!!!!!!!!!
Blaze Camp @ Sarimbun Scouts Camp.......Finally i received the photos from my friend, Thanks dear Venassa...the picture took on the 17th june'09 recently...o my, i finally got picture with Farhan(Chief Camp)...so sweet of you...you fan for me when i'm under a hot sun hahhaa

2009-06-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

Exams are over...test papers was not that hard that i'm thinking of..holiday till 6 July......wah.....its a great long vacations.....no matter what....haha..wei..i still have to come down to school and outdoor activities for councillors and other events such as camps, bazaar, chalet and etc.... okay alright,unfortunately, i couldn't get go to overseas this time my passport expired hahahhaa....but nevermind i still can chill in Singapore hahaha HAPPY NO WORRIES...

2009-06-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

The past few months, On the month of May before examinations studied with Elzuan whole day in the Esplanade Library...Cool n chilly....dam...hands are cramped after wrote down notes for all chapter hahhah....toodles...

My workplace caught on Fire

2009-05-22T19:45:00.000-07:00

My workplace caught on fire yesterday 22 May 2009. At 5.30pm i saw 2 bikes of SCDF, 2 Police car,2 fire engine surrounded the place. Who don't know Causeway Point?? ahak!! it was where the incident takes place. The news was told that the fire explosion starts at level 5 carpark.The case was something related of wire gas. The area still under investigations.., all of us couldn't make a move to work till 1 an-a-half hour waiting outside the METRO exit door .All shops are closed. No great business yesterday due to the fire.My manager was stress about business going..hhee too bad..yeah..

2009-05-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

Most friends asking me questions regarding on, do i attach??
Why i worked a lot??
Am i not tired after school??
Why i'm too busy always right now??

The answers is:

Firstly, i'm not attach as i'm single and complicated,
to me loves, lives and death is on God hands,
(Jodoh, pertemuan dan mati di tangan Allah)
i've tried to look for the right man previously but the time doesn't allowed me.
i loves all my ex-boyfrend and i appreciate them much but they are not suit for me,
They were just an accompanied to my life.They left me with memories.
So, all i do now is to pray hard, focus and study hard, and be a better people to improve myself.
For love?? Let me just (berserah pada yang Esa)/(Maha Mengetahui) loves only Allah(God Almighty)..the one and only one with me right now n till forever Allah(God) who always in my heart..i trust that one day Allah will bring somebody better to fit in my life forever...i will never forget that.

Secondly,why i worked a lot and i'm not tired? It is because of one solutions that i can forget all my loves memories with all my ex-boyfriends easily. It was hard actually to forget them one-by one..all the time when you were a lone, you always need somebody to talk to..and what happens is that all your ex-boyfriends faces appeared in your mind..How sad it was when you tried to flashback rite..so in the case of forgetting all that craps memories, you have to be busy all the time..so, you will not remember them much..as that was i did everyday to make myself busy all the time..i schooled and i worked...my rest is just sleeping..

tired?? every work you do, you will feel tired but if you think again, wasn't it be great for you?...compared to the one who more always on relaxing job. They will be more bored then you rite..
so, being a busywomen is not wrong if you know how to handled it.
Last but not least, don't worked too hard also, as you are not a robot who control daily activities. Learn to know your limits and take care of your health always...
i still remember one of my collegues who loves to say "Control your Body!!" hehe take it mind you know people..
ok then- zoom out-

2009-05-16T22:30:00.000-07:00

Hey!!! i pop - up again....this time i would like to share with u guys about the night market. Do u hear before people called them as "Pasar Malam" ?? yeah, it's great and interesting place to pass by there. You can find whatever you want. Food, Drinks, Clothes (Shirt,blouse,pants n etc.), Cars n others..

One more thing that i would like to bring up, was the people who sold their products such as facial products n other creams..As what they supposed to do was, to get more customers bought their products as many as they could. They used their own way on how they attract the customers, by pulling customer's hand and tap with their cream products on every customer's hands. So, if you are the customer who pass by that area, they were tap on your hands with their cream products to you. Afterwards, you will felt uneasy and irritating. Your mind kept asking you to get a tissue or something to wipe your hands immediately. But, unfortunately, before you start to wipe your hands, they pulled you to their stalls and explain on more other products they used especially for facial and others. Due to the time being, especially if you were in late situation to go somewhere else. My question is on what will you guys do then????Feel like slapping them too?? hehehe

As for me, i will not pass by there again.. and i will walk on other side of the area..If there were no choice, u just put your hand behind your back or in the pocket or either wear long sleeves shirt..haha i've sounds ridiculous but what else you can do besides that, so the choice is yours...think again and becareful when you walk or pass by the stalls at "Pasar Malam" or Night Market...ok then - zoom out-

2009-05-15T22:55:00.000-07:00

WelCome TO $HidahFazura's Webpage!

Ladies hood!!

2009-05-15T22:46:00.000-07:00

Yeah, Raining heavily during this month and we were in the Air-Conditioner Classroom...gotta Freeze Together....toodles.

Shidahfazura Songs

2009-05-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

@ my work...pharmacist after work at 11:20 pm

2009-05-01T22:53:00.001-07:00

@ MY work ...Pharmacist after 11:20pm amazing day all ITEMS such as ( Thermometer,face mask,gloves were sold out)due to the latest disease anyway its a great Business too thnx people.........

Collections from College West

2009-05-01T22:04:00.000-07:00

Collections from College West wit friends and others....toodles..

finish my common test wooohoooo!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

Yeah, no more stress on test paper.
No More installation of questions.
Smile Always...weepee...

I WANT NOBODY BUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-24T01:39:00.000-07:00

Short comercial break sort in presentation video on my practicing dance related on korean songs "nobody" with my colleagues...lol..have fun

ite simei nurses day in 2006

2009-04-08T22:26:00.000-07:00

i missed My Baby....

2009-03-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

i missed my baby "LG NOTEBOOK" for a night..due to project work. My colleague needs to borrow my laptop for an urgent slideshow editing...For One night i can't sleep thinking of my baby...o please that my baby doesn't get corrupted by somebody....

The next day...i rechecked all my files in my baby desktop right after my colleague returned my baby to me..i do researched on all files...and i noticed that there are virus in there....Luckily, i could update to clear all my virus in my baby...Alhamdulilah...

i pity the "TODAYS PAPER" Apek...

2009-03-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

This Morning, when i reach at the clementi MRT station there were a men call "apek' distributing all the TODAY'S paper to the resident...Unfortunately, at 8.45 am. There are still more papers there...i stand in front of him and pick up the paper near him..As when i pick up the paper, this Apek saying to me.."HALI INI NIAGA TALA LAKU HAIYA.."hehehe which means "the business today has no profit.." poor apek and i pity him...I said to him this," Uncle jangan sedih mungkin satu hari nanti niaga u maju..." means one day his business will increase...he's sadness facial expression makes me wanna laugh more but i try to console my laughing and smiles widely..When i walk away i heard he says, "suratkabar Free pun tak mau, kalau saya jual lagi tak beli ma..."hehhe means A free newspaper won't have that benefit despite the selling of papers..hehe wat a day....i hope he will have a better luck next day..

I'm sorry dear readers...

2009-03-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry once again due to the shortage of time management..this whole month i've been full booked to work and campus. No time to rest, practice vocal class and even chatting..Hope that i can be like a robot working 24 hours without feeling tiredness..neah..impossible..we're humans and we have to except how hard lifes it is rite..no matter what...i will promise to get back with u guys again......i'm really really sorry..

Pass Away...INNALILLAHIRAJI'UUN

2009-02-17T03:50:00.000-08:00

I went back home from clementi went i saw a peagent died at the side of the bus-stop...before its death..i could see that the peagent was walking slowly towards and back just like an example (an old man walking with his stick taken step by step to walk slowly....) after tripple days later...i saw the peagent lying down on the floor....no matter sunny or heavy rains, the dead body was there all the time..without people unborder it..however, i felt sympathy to the peagent, i just hope that someone could call for SPC or either i'll buried it...unfortunately...i have this feeling of phobia...i stop my "actions feeling" who always said" come on..do something.."my phobia kept increasing as i just walked away from that bus-stop...and went back home by MRT..

In the train...i kept thinking of what's gonna happened next to the dead peagent??....what was the causes of it death?? double questions came in mind...

I'm regret of the ignorance i made to the peagent...By the time i reached home...i prayed that hopefully the peagent gone and rest in peace...(RIP) AL-FATIHAH....

Gotta role-play....

2009-02-16T03:45:00.000-08:00

i have two projects regarding customer relation and effective in communication..it was quite tiring as i have to printed up all scripts and corrected all mistakes such as languages in script while i have to perform with them..another two projects regarding Inbound which is visitors are coming down to singapore such as the thailanders...and the other about the outbound which is "langkawi" the places of tourist destination.....o my overall hand in by this coming march......all in my head...OVERLOADED......hehehe

who's leg??

2009-02-16T03:07:00.000-08:00

Lerr.....it was my brother sleeping with his lovely guitar...ayim ayim.......too tired maybe...

after i finished my prayer's i opened the door and walk out till i passed by my younger's brother room i only saw a leg..i wonder who's dat??

2.4km run isn't that hard?????

2009-02-16T02:59:00.000-08:00

2.4 KM run reminded me in fiew years batched in yishun secondary school...especially the cross country in 2004...woah...i wonder i got top 30 runners again....last time for upper sec girls top runner i've got no.27 @ macritchie reservoir...and now..getting older and weak i dropped over by 3...running at the lake nearest clementi..2.4km run with other student i've got "29" only three hurdles apart...ok...i think i need to drink-drink more milk and eat-eat more,supplement too...hehe...more stronger maybe...hehe

Time for vocal class!!!!!

2009-02-14T00:26:00.001-08:00

Ok,vocal instructor trainer don't shoot me please..!!! hehe

peace no war...enough....

Shidah!!! people around up level,lookin you!!!!

2009-02-14T00:20:00.000-08:00

My workplace need to perform "atrium" based on which product we are selling in the middle of the shopping centre....im the cashier for the day...its totally tiring..ended at 11pm closing...

MY stuffs as cashier....

Time to practice vocal no matter what!!!!!!!!

2009-02-13T23:36:00.000-08:00

Thanx to all my friends n siblings...although i'm sicked, i'll try my very best to sharpen my voice for vocal training...u know what???....i'll try my good shot although i've sore throat n encounter difficulties in breathing due to my sickness...anyway...it was a horrible practicing in my younger brother's room...i was tought after i sang i will cough blood of kept forcing it from my troat....but unbelievable...i still can reached high-notes....hehehhe ("Cries", "Salam Terakhir-sudirman"and "seputih hati-agnes")
i see that......

Vocal training on Saturday!!!!!!

2009-02-12T09:41:00.000-08:00

I've sign on my Vocal Training Class(clementi), Mr Faizal our vocal trainer.I went 1st audition at the end of january'09..I DID BADLY due to forget lyrics and all dat..but 2nd audition on this coming saturday will gonna be more tough for me because i've got sore throat...o my...i hope it cure soon as possible before saturday.....my sisters n friend members scream at me" Shidah!! minum air garam weii..!!!"

(drink salt water)???hmmm...i think wat i'm suppose to do...maybe..

anyway thnx to them and for all of your supporters who support me for the audition....love you all.....

Back to school with a Pale Face...

2009-02-11T16:39:00.000-08:00

i'm trully sick this mornng due to not enough sleep n rest...my face fully pale like a dead alive...now i have 50/50 in my mind to go school or not...but i'm forcing myself to come no matter what....most people think am i "kiasu" about school or wat?? they said,"take m.c la!!!" but i dun want to miss any lesson as each lesson is prescious. Actually i've made a promise to Allah if it let me permission to go back school again, i will proceed my studies with all my best n enthusiastic. Alhamdulilah, ALLAH have gave its answer to me and after so...longer period i pray(solat tahjud) with penuh kusyuk dan ikhlas(concentration) and it open to me a door as the answer for giving me chance to back to school again, as it was one of my decision that i've made to meet teachers again and further educations cert..insyaAllah i will try my very best to face all challenge and obstacles in the educations such as(projects,exams,cca) meeting different friends,lecturers n etc...

tired of the day......

2009-02-11T05:52:00.000-08:00

Arstarghfillahallazim..terlepas maghrib u.....i dream luar biasa time ni...nampak gunung dan air terjun...isn't dat satu pertunjuk ketenangan...(accidently skipped one prayer due to tiredness)

Doing project,script and surfing such an exhausted day after school with no rest from 5.30am to 9pm.....

Little Princess....2009!!!!!!!!!! Nurul Huwaidah vs Alya insyirah..who's the cutess?

2009-02-10T05:18:00.000-08:00

First Princess contestant Alya Insyirah

second princess...Nurul Huwaidah...

After my Elder brother (Abang Hafiz married)...

2009-02-09T07:11:00.000-08:00

Little Princess :- ALYA INSYIRAH WAS BORN ON 8TH NOVEMBER 2008.

CERTIFICATE (CUKUR RAMBUT)she was surprised where does her hair gone???

MY ELDER BROTHER WEDDING.....rEd Rose...

A cute video baby Alya Insyirah response expression to her father(my elder brother)

only 2 months she called "AYAH"

During Y.S.S TIME!!!!! Introduced Myself FeaT Liquid Paper Below ..

2008-12-15T19:47:00.000-08:00

Npcc at Yishun stadium for Sports Day..and the performance (Myself feat Liquid Paper )on the racial harmony performing a skit(observed..1st top)

with my band junior(CLARINETIES)...

I took this pict during my Y.S.S Time.....nice memories with all my friends and classmates...miss the time....although somes kinda hazzy images....hehe

sREE nARAYANa....

Old Folks Home...myself on

the magazine(on last top).

Darul Makmur....my luvly mosque....(Me and HASMIDAH..)MY CUSZIN..

2008-12-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

Darul Makmur Mosque was one of my lovely mosque where i started to step in at the aged of 8 years old till now.....there's many changes by now..the mosque looked more gigantic and nice, beautifully innovate n renovated...

with my SuperHero who save the world!!!!

2008-12-15T18:10:00.001-08:00

i met him at Northern part of Singapore...he came down n we took picture together....hehe

Actually the time where he promote his filem 'Cicak-man' in Singapore.....i met the director's of the filem too previously....

A cHEMISTRY WITH artis around the world!!!!

2008-12-15T17:37:00.000-08:00

The beautiful actress FASHA SANDHA and me....quite hazzy image..but nice to met all of them...

My younger brother dance with MICHAEL JACKSON...

Me and the director of film's Cicakman...

Precisely, i'm just surveyed with my friend Abu Bakar....

with SYED AZMER the anugerah finalis on Suria channel!!

And of cos Fazley, from the 2D's team(kumpulan 2D) their popular songs "Cenderawasih"

AFTER....

2008-12-15T17:32:00.000-08:00

Precisely, after my mum had left the house..cleaning up process was done by me and ended up was this great!!!!

Neat and tidy....

Wat a mess???????????

2008-12-15T16:54:00.000-08:00

My mum was rushing to Jb after finding her medicine in my room's cupboard and everywhere...it was too urgently untill the incident's end, my room has became like this :- o my God!!!!BEFORE..

dedicated' someone like you and aku tak mahu sendiri.."..

2008-12-10T02:06:00.000-08:00

Someone Like U - BUNGA CITRA LESTARI

Aku Tak Mau Sendiri - Bunga Citra Lestari

Nursing pict in 2006!!!

2008-12-10T01:17:00.001-08:00

It was CANDID!!!!

MY KID'S TIME PHOTOS....SNAPP!!!

2008-12-10T01:04:00.000-08:00

The FIRST HIP-HOP (aged 7 years)girl ever......

The sexy BOTAK Shidahfazura.....

A little Girl (Shidahfazura) who wanna drive a car sumday....

First time i've beeing just like a Clown girl...

The princess Shidahfazura with a Fairy's Heart.....

Candid pict at Uncle's Man house watching entertainment movies show Tittled( "The Big Stand")

2008-12-10T00:57:00.000-08:00

8 and 9 December...2008 and back to YISHUN...

2008-12-10T00:28:00.000-08:00

One of the KIDDY'S PLACE AT SUTERAMALL

Half seen of me while the others was on candid!!!

At SuteraMall....

Pustaka "Azhar" it reminded me of sumone whom my long losted friend..

Look at this Drawing done by me...(hahaha oops!!! as if..)

Same things goes by, (me n sis) helped our mum's cooked in the kitchen and we had lunch and dinner together one family...before we started to packed up things back to Singapore in 9 December 2008....at 11.30 pm. My elder brother took us by his car to Johor n send us back to Singapore at 2 a.m....back to yishun... we intended to went back yishun at 10 december 2008 unfortunately times not given us a chance...due to the weather forecast....

7 December 2008 THE TRIP CONTINUES....Mum's "Stucked,Injured and Rolled off.."

2008-12-09T23:27:00.000-08:00

Early morning after washed up and took breakfast my family get into the car and went to SuteraMall and we stopped at (Yamaha's Music School) at Impian Emas nearer to the SuteraMall. My Neighbour Uncle Man's gotta send his son for a drum practices for 30 mins in the studio as me and my sis approached the information's counter for informations to buy a keyboared. But after making decisions, we intended to save more budget to buy a keyboard because each keyboard cost expensively around $1.5 k. Furthermore. my parents bought some market items at supermarket SuteraMalls and put all things into the car.
As my mum was holdng a bag of eggs on her hand and wanted to get into the car unfortunately, my dad has started the accelerator without noticed...and this was what happened!!!

mY SIS : Eveyone's gets in quicked!!!

Me : OK, SIS please helped to carry all bags...

my dad: (Waiting and just started the acceleretor to go without noticed my mum..)

My Younger brother : Dah!!!

My mum : Wait !!! my right leg stucked on the door.....!!!!

[Unoticeble........]

VOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! ACCELETOR STARTED....

me : Ayah Stopped!!!!!! (Dad stopped the car)
my SIS : Ayah nanti.....ibu belum masuk kereta....

(My mum not entered into the car yet as her right leg was stucked on the door..my mum was collapsed and rolled off the road ground..unfortunately nothing happened to my mum she got to remove her legs before the wheels car moved...but only her knees get injured...)

THE EGGS????????

Smashed!! the eggs broke on my mum's hands arm..

AMAZINGLY?????? 10 eggs in a bag only 6 were UNBROKEN...WOW!!!!

I just can't imagined it my mum was really a superwomen!!!!

by then me and my younger brother put all eggs in the pail behind the boot-car.

Im so shockingly looked at that incident happened to my mum as i helped her to get up and went into the car.....

all of us are Quiet...we don't wanna talked...because we know dad's was high blood pressure...

(mesti ibu sakit).....at setia Tropika's home...we settled all our stuffs and have our dinner at
night...after that i took the medicines and rub softenly to my mum's knees....precisely, i will massage my mum's body from top to bottom...including the injured part too...i was so pity to my mum but i can't accused my dad to be alert next time...it was just that his carelessness...but whatever happened had over ended after the Hari Raya Aidiladha times still continues....

7 December 2008 ( sec. day trip)

2008-12-09T23:16:00.000-08:00

My sis was wondering to change the curtain to this Sultan's curtain......
Not to go far over...there's Snow Man and Santa's too..
"Let be me tasted this first...(my SISTER)"
Nice deco landscaped.....
I prefered a car then a bike behind...(hehe)

6 December 2008 Trip!!!

2008-12-09T22:33:00.000-08:00

As usual working, but i've been scheduled in the morning till 5pm. During the time, i brought my brown big-bag to work full of shirts and accesories for five days in Malaysia..going back Johor to celebrate Hari Raya Aidiladha overthere. As soon times goes by. Me and my sis took bus 170 to checkpoint if we took car of course it will be jam in the road traffic..we took 170 right after we finished our worked. I was frustrated with the long-queued but it ended when three or four buses came forward to the stop. We took the same bus till Singapore and Malaysia Checkpoint. I kept asking my sister to make a last called to our dad when we reached at Malaysia Checkpoint before it's unconnected reception starhub mobile phone. My dad was waiting at Larkin for us..

Precisely, the bus ended at Larkin Inter-change and we alighted there looking for our mum. My mum called us to walk to the car where my dad has parked his car nearer to the bus inter-change. We went into dad's car and my dad started the acceleretor to continue journey to (Dahlia's Supermarket)the place where we need to buy something for dinner at night. My mum bought many things for our dinner. Then we stopped at the (Pasar Malam) where i bought (Fried Chicken Wings) Ayam Goreng...I was so hungry untill whatever food being displayed around the all stall's was so delicious..It was late night and we went back to Setia Tropika, it was totally tired. I gotta washed up and prayed..After that my sis switched on the TV to watch many entertainment shows that night.My eyes was totally tired after watching "The Mummy Returns shows on the TV.." Later my eyes shut down after pressing off button on the remote controller...

Sentosa Trip on 2007!!

2008-12-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

Pink Ranger catch over!!

'The Southernmost Point Asia Contiment"

Hear it!!

This is...

candid!!

The Sea Angel.....!!!(Dalam laut pun ade bidadari..hehe)

Here we go..!!!

My LOvely sis!!!

Makan (lunch) time....

I can't wait to see the Dolphins!!

The year in 2007 was my sadness year of all my life,

i broke up my relationship with two guys..

i have no one to talk to,

i let my sadness flows on my face,i lost of hopes to continue this challenging of life, till i've been warded to Raffles h.one day due to my low blood pressure sugar hypoclimic..for (one hour) i was unconsciously...i collapsed at my workplace..till i've been carried on by the wheelchair..i won't aware of dat incident...i prayed hard cos i know, no one heard my cries only Allah..

Everyday i went back home, i looked at my sis, she was hanging on the phone all time about 1 hour plus after that she went to bed. My parents was away and frequently not in singapore...i wish to talk to my younger brother, but i thinked his not matured enough to think of difficulties of lifes that comes..My elder brother has married, gotta live with his new lifestyle as a husband and a father..i wish to try to call or kept contact again with my friends but unfortunately most of them spending time with individuals partner n their own time..Eventhough my best sis can't spent a time for me...

i was trully upset.....

One day, i seatdown in my room and looked at my diaries and school magazines(YSS), my tears drippling down instantly unnoticeble, If i could only turnback the TIME-MACHINE passed back to YSS school lifetime, where i met many friends and i was happy enough with all teacher's n classmates, But it was too late it you say sorry to everybody...especially your friends.."Sorry that i can't get along with certain people... sorry...that i'm not like others who probably loves loitering(lepak-lepak),sorry..that i can't easily speak like the rest..especially vulgarity words.." Am i unsocial enough?? Is just that i just don't like, i have self-valued(maruah)as the rest too..Self-valued was my main priority in life..Yup, precisely,i have to be open-minded but i'm afraid if i can't limit it, it was hard to make people in surrounding you felt satisfied to you..

As by then, my sister woke me up from dreaming a while ago..she looked at my face was pale enough to compared with Zombie..Later, i forced my sis to listen of what difficulties i had...She understood me, and she's aware of all that as she's willing to spent time for me at least to find some peaceful mind (relaxing) so why not (jalan-jalan cari ketenangan). i don't mind if i treat for all sentosa trip with my sis...if thats one way solution to cure my sadness.

We decided to go out to Sentosa Beach, Underwaterworld, Dolphin Lagoon and Merlion...we explored many things as i got into more excited at that position adventure times..It was totally cured my sadness and moody mood because i felt that there were sumone always by my side...

Went out again with my best sis FAD

2008-12-03T21:17:00.000-08:00

At Newton circle Al-amin
foodcourt..

" i was laughing at her after this cos she's tried her very best to have the same height as me..Fad dun sacrificed yourself dear with dat high heel shoe...hehehe"

i was wondering she looks sweet with my dat pink spect....(macam nak kasi aje spect tu..but i think not yet..hahaa)

we went out together again to the Raffles place while waitin for her at the raffles place mrt control station, i saw a guy in a hip hop style so shorty n stared while smiling at me(no one there standing except me n him,other passenger just passed-by..) as if he gonna say(hi, wats ur name??can i know u..?)..i was err..what was wrong with him??..im just slumbered my face trying to ignore his handsome face...by then fad arrived n say HEY!! to me..as we walked out from the control station n started our intention..me n fad searching for the address for interviewed part-timers job over the raffles place..as it ended both of us not satisfied with the working place n the environment of work....after dat, we had our lunch "murtabak" at Newton circle...quite hungry but our budget not enough as we shared our money to buy murtabak...n it tasted nice...we shared the murtabak n we shared the drinks(plain water..pun/sendrian berhad punya) too...(jimat katakan..hehe)..but it's cute n sweet the part where we shared the food n drinks together... till end of the day we went back home...

"Yan's"BIKE ACCIDENT!!

2008-12-03T20:23:00.000-08:00

With Sufiyan's at tampines after finish prayer's at Gufran...

It's been a long time i never met my nursing friends, as once i gotta chat again with yan in msn till late night, he told me dat he was discharged from hospital n couldn't walk, only needs a wheelchair to go somewhere, he caught in the accident sumwhere in bedok where his intentions was to go home after checked out from bedok camp(still NS)..he was failed to control the handle where there's a car trying passed his lane..he got knocked down by the car n been carried rush by the paramedic to the hospital..i went to visit him at Gufran's mosque( masjid gufran) on friday where he's perform friday prayer's..

Firstly, i decided to go there with my best sis(Fad) to accompanied me together visiting him, precisely, we perform prayer first at gufran mosque n zohor...before metting him downstairs level one..once i saw him in wheelchair buying sumthing from aunties who selled the nasi padang in bazaar...my heart was saying" Ya Allah, kesiannye dia..." we went down n met him, i passed him the curry soup where i cooked (just for a friend), by then i treat(blanje makan je) him mac donald at tampines...we chat n share stories...as soon he asked me n my best sis (Fad), " Bila nak kahwin??"/"(when u guys wanna get married??)" hehhe i n Fad stared each other n our mind was thinking..(err...)hehe...but it will be a long far to go thinking about dat...as i have no intentions to think about married yet...i still wanna achieve my goals n ambition first...till then i send him back till to the traffic light after he crossed the road n i turned back my way to the intercanged n went back home...

IT'S JUNGLEMANIA TIME!!!

2008-12-03T07:05:00.001-08:00

Welcome to the jungle!!

It's SHOW TIME!!

I was thinking if this statue can move its hand, first think i will ask her to massage myback (penat tau cari dia mana2..hehe)

We ride an enchanted lorry but dat "enchanted" can change to "jurassic park" kan bagus..boleh masuk "dinasours world"...hehe macam betul...

Me n bibik while FAD took this candid pict...

i wish i could be a model!! hehe cam betul je shidah ni...

gdbye!!!

It's been a long time i never been to this place again where i was remembered the last time i was one of the victim to get in wet first, when attending the elephant show, splashing water from an elephant to the nearest visitor(who dat's me)...now i went to the place again with my best sis n bibik ,where the place have changed a lot. i went there again on 30 november '08. Guess wat??? its totally exciting untill we're lost at 7 plus pm (time maghrib),by right the zoo was closed during dat time, we lost in the forest(tiger path) searching the way out..we keep searching to observe if there might be a restaurant dat's nearer the dim light area..The darkness has covered the evening as our human carelessness was not to (fikir dulu..)step back plan to search a place wer there's brighter light at the first place, but it was too late...the Three of us was brave enough to explore summore inside the zoo till night (sampai sesat jalan), by right it should closed the place soon..
because (dah takda apa2 semua haiwan dah tidur) theres nothing except silent night..we asked for helped from a men in the restaurant n gotta guide us the way out....

but guess wat?? his explaination was not clearer enough till we gotta asked again to the driver nearby, we gotta tompang (ride)till the entrance n at last...we did it....Alhamdulilah....but sounds crippy too previously because we lost at the tiger path...(kalau2 apa2 harimau ni..aku dahlah takda isi...)hehe

conclusion : " prepare yourself before get into trouble..."

SADNESS HEART OF A LADY

2008-12-03T06:13:00.000-08:00

Is not easy actually wen sumone hurt or getting hurt..

her cries n tears drippling down given me the strength how hard the challenged to face the fact of life.The most of her beloved ones, passed away in a bad incident situation.. mostly,she lost of hopes,. She left her laughter to memories n let the sadness flows in her face..till now she hardly to smile again...

but once life's have to go on, it have to..

one day i met her n the results responded positively..

She started to smile n laugh at me wen i sang for her one hindi song (sang by amir khan).i was wondering(of cos sums i pronouns the word in the lyrics wrongly)

i was so..happy to see her smiles again, i wondered im so ridiculuos to do dat but it sense good to her...n at last after singing i gotta one slapped on my face from her n she laughed, give me kisses n hugs too...she say wow!!! great lovely voice but i was...(err...sakit tau tak..susah2 buat aunty ni senyum at last slapped on my face!!) hehehe most probably i like her gurau-senda walaupun kasar...haha

who knows...i teased her n she responded by slappin my face sounded dat showin her lovin n care to me..love u aunty!!! take care of ur health too..

manusia bertukar corak kerana pengaruhan???

2008-11-19T02:11:00.000-08:00

hmm...antara betul atau tidak...saya tak jamin...tetapi dengan ape yang saya lihat dan dipelajari...banyak civic dan moral menceritakan..sebagai contoh....tak semua seorang ustaz tak semestinya baik 100% atas tingkah lakunye....tetapi dia menjadi seorang guru adalah kerana ilmu pengetahuan yang dia pelajari setelah ape yang berlaku padanya masa silam..seperti ade yang pernah melakukan kesalahan atas kesalahannya itu dan di hukum penjara bertahun tahun..Dari situlah dia pelajari erti hidup yang murni dan kembali ke jalan yang benar..juga menginsafi atas kesalahan yang dilakukan itu..

bukan itu sahaja...

jika dulu kawan sebaik mana di madrasah agama dapat keputusan baik dan cemerlang dalam pelajaran pun..namun nasib seseorang itu malang jika dia tidak pandai menilai kerana sifat peramah terhadap ramai dan terlalu sangat bergaul dengan kawan kwan yang liar di luar pada masa lapangnya..hingga dia terjurumus sekali dengan mereka mereka tanpa disedari...

apabila sahabat atau kawan mereka yang bersama sama pelajari madrasah dengannya waktu dulu itu inginkan dia kembali pada mereka namun...tidak mungkin kerana....dia telah pergi terlalu jauh...mustahil akan percaya dan kembali seperti dahulu...

dari itu saya pelajari bahawa....saya tidak pernah menyalahkan seseorang itu walaupun dia melakukan kesalahan dan melupa diri...kerana dia bertukar corak bukan atas dirinya tetapi mungkin atas pergaulan....

Complicated !!!

2008-11-16T20:33:00.000-08:00

Hari ni, entahlah rasa rumit di hati susah nak luahkan...
masa dah tammat nak fikirkan lagi..
rumah yang saya tinggal ni tak lama lagi kene sewa jugak by hook or by crook..
haiz..nanti tak lama my passport jgak habis chopp page by page sebab hari2 akan ulang alik dari malaysia..masa yang rumit itu terpaksalah saya telan....

But i just think, if i could still contact with singapore people using my own phone...contact by singapore phone to malaysia is quite complicated..kalau nak pkai line..ya Allah..
tak sanggup tengok bill..ni pkai card tawakkal setiap waktu kadang tak dapat contact langsung.....

bukan kerana phone tapi bus pun sophisticated, kalau i work end pkul 11.30 n above...bus pun dahbis...

naik keretapi lagi jauh dari sini...

nak tinggal dengan rumah makcik yang dekat kat s'pore ni lagi menyusahkan orang. i dun wanna trouble them..Tambahan pula bukan saya sorang, kalau nanti sedara lain sebelah makcik datang dan kata lagi macam2...lagi susah..

Duduk sama rumah nenek pun nenek tak kasi....kenapa, maybe nenek tak kasi pkai banyak gas...i mean masak sana masak sini....huh..haiz..

mana lagi shidah nk pergi...

semuanya dah beri kata putus...
saya dah cuba membantah sebelum semua ni saya dah cuba nak cari penyelesaian tapi saya ni manusia biasa...saya tak terdaya...

memang susah jika sesiapa berada di tempat saya ni...

saya terpaksa pergi ikut kata ayah....haiz...

"Ya Allah....bukakanlah ruang pintu luas di jalan kemudahan...saya tak sanggup dalam kesempitan dan rumit ni...."

Hari yang menyedihkan mjlis abg.s....

2008-11-06T22:35:00.000-08:00

Pada majlis perkahwinan abg s. kita sebagai sekeluarga yg bersedara...
mestilah gotong royong tolong meriahkan majlisnya...

Semua sedara dah nak siap berpakaian cantik 4 majlis tu..
u know wat???
kita semua dah plan pakai cantik2 dat day maklumlah jadi kendarat-kendaratkan...

Unfortunately, wen i reach dat place yang masih riuh dengan orang masak-masak n tetamu...
My mum ade kat situ n my makcik sekali....besides dat my makcik kata...kendarat dah cukup orang...so, she ask me to help her at kitchen's place belakang majlis where they wash all the dishes..periuk-periuk semua dan gelas-gelas termasuklah dulang-dulang tu..my makcik kata "nak cuci periuk takkan nak pakai cantik-cantik kot...nanti basah semua.." haiz..unfortunately, saya terpaksa, bertukar pakaian t-shirt biasa haiz....dalam hati saya..(arstarghfirllahalazim ya Allah..) belum dapat makan nasi beriyani dah kene buat kerja....haiz..

memang bosan but great!! dapat wasted water dengan air sabun...

At last kene marah sebab majlis tu...dah jadi lecak dengan air n tambahan lagi hujan dah pun turun..

gelas-gelas yang melayang n jatuh kat longkang pun...kene saya cuci balik...haiz..entahlah...bila saya lihat sedara saya yang lain pakai cantik-cantik sambil pegang bunga telur n berkat-berkat semua...hati saya tiba-tiba sayu.....

Yang lebih menyedihkan, ade satu tetamu makcik sedara nak salam saya, habis tak jadi, sebab tangan saya kotorkan...sapa yang nak salam??....

hmm..datang my another makcik ask my mum..." mana anak dara lagi satu tu???"
"err...dia basuh periuk belange kat blakang tu..",my mum says...

haiz...siang dah berganti malam, baru saya dapat makan nasi..itupun yang balance-balance aje yang tinggal..

2008-11-06T22:02:00.000-08:00

Berkurun ku di gamit sepi,
derita tiada bertepi,
cuba ku cari damai di hati,
tiada berkeupayaan,
tersangkar ku di kedukaan,
dilemma seakan berlarutan,
kedengaran kau ucapkan
selamat tinggal sayang..

Hasrat hati mencari pengganti
sayangnya aku tidak termampu,
bayanganmu sering mengganggu,
melukai hatiku,
gerimis rindu di sudut hati,
seakan tiada terhenti,
hidup ini terus begini,
cinta ini hanya sisa mimpi,
yang tak mungkin berulang lagi,
musnah sudah satu pengharapan,
diragui kehancuran,
gerimis rindu di sudut hati
seakan tiada berhenti,
hidup ini harus begini

digenggam memori begini..
pergilah mustika hati..

XXX Penghalang Jalan..!!! XXXX

2008-11-06T21:52:00.000-08:00

Kehidupan makin rumit dengan semua hutang-hutang bil nak selesaikan..ayah berkata, " tak lama lagi rumah kene sewa..ayah dan ibu duduk johor permanently.."

HUH!! hati saya terguris kembali...bagaimana kami nak ulang-alik sekolah, kerja nanti lebih merumitkan keadaan...dan masa kat sana johor tak ramai jiran dan kawan plak tu..takkan makan tidur je..saya memberontak betul pada hari kemudian walau apapun terjadi saya nak juga belajar kat singapore dan saya kerja disini..ada ramai kawan, jiran dan juga Az.m.s pun ada kat sini..

" Ya Allah....apa nak jadi dengan kehidupan saya ni...semuanya ada penghalang jalan..."

Bosan dengan Mr.F ??

2008-11-06T21:11:00.000-08:00

Pada peristiwa dulu, pernah saya berkawan dengan Mr.F..
Dia bermula mengenali saya di tempat kerja saya..nak tahu kat mana kami kenalan..( di hadapan sanitary pad2 ladies) dia di situ..dan menegur saya..
Hari demi hari kami berkenalan, barulah saya tahu apa pekerjaannya itu..Dia adalah police officer kat police cantonment complex @ outram. Dia dah lama bekerja disitu..hmm..nampak simple-man tapi policeman rupenye..berbagai kes dia lalui dan selalu share the stories to me..i love his police stories but sumtimes quite bored jugak.Apabila dia ajak keluar date lunch, dinner as well as cinema (tengok wayang jugak) sepanjang tu...saya slumber aje muka ni..Lastly, tampa berterima kasih, i ask him to buy one cd music. He bought it one for me, saya tak tahu beberapa hari kemudian, dia mesej macam-macam kat saya bahawasanye dia sukakan saya..dia berkata dia dah jumpa gadis yang dia cari selama ni..berbagai pujian dia beri untuk saya such as, "you my beautiful princesslah.., bidadari syurgakulah.. dan macam-macam." berbagai hadiah such as flowers, rose,card n etc. Hmm..saya memang selalu pergi bila dia ajak keluar, becos semuanya selalu dia belanja, n at least dapatlah..hilangkan bosan....TAPI.. u know wat, Mr.F ni langsung menambahkan rasa bosan tu entahlah..agaknya perangai dia kot..

Entahlah, dia ni macam selalu meletak ketinggian harapan pada saya untuk hidup bersama dengannya..saya dahpun terus terang denagannya, kenapalah dia terlalu mengharapkan saya..saya tak cintakan diapun..Pada suatu hari entah macamana dia ajak saya berjumpa dengan bondannya..saya salam seperti biasa anggap seperti mak saya sendiri..saya suka pada maknya kerana sangat memahami saya..tapi Mr. F ni langsung tak faham hati saya..cara dia melayan saya dan melafaskan kata-kata seperti mendesak saya untuk bersamanya selalu..entah macamana satu hari saya tertarik dengannya apabila melihat dia kemas- mengemas dapur melap sana lap sini sungguh bersih orang dia..nampak rajin pun..tapi tak jaminlah dia seorang rajin sebab mungkin cuma di hadapan saya je..haiz..hari dah berlalu..bondannya pernah berkata pada dia,dia semakin hari, semakin tua, so, why not u search for a wife?? Yang saya tak tahan tu..dia cakap dia dah jumpa dah gadis tu...ish..teruklah dia..

Pada suatu hari, dia ajak saya lihat video orang "angkat nikah" ..haiz..hati saya makinlah bosan dan berkata, "mulalah dia berangan nak jadi pengantin.." aduhai..apa kene dengan Mr.F ni..Entahlah , mungkin saya cuma tertarik bila dia rajin je kot...Mr.F ni pulak tak tahu saya nak lanjutkan pelajaran lagi...he thought im a pharmacist throughout my whole life....Bila saya dah bersuara saya nak belajar lagi and im still young, muka dia dah masam semacam n dat from on..our relationship pun renggang and break no more...

i can tell YES, his romantic and ok ok rajin but NO, too tortured and always forcing heart....

Memang cinta tak boleh dipaksakan??......

Ustazah says..

2008-11-05T21:38:00.000-08:00

kepada ustazah suhanah selalu saya tempat mengadu kasih dan bermanja dengan nya...kalau dulu ustazah mengajar saya baca Al-Quran, fiqeh dan sirah kini dia adalah ibu kedua saya..banyak membimbing saya terus kembali ke jalan yang benar..
kerana tiada manusia memahami hati kecil yang gelap ni ..katanya.." jika kita masih tidak berjumpa orang yang disayangi di dunia ini..mungkin di Syurga nanti...memang penantian itu satu seksa...bila tanpa balas..bersabarlah selalu....tiada gunanya membasahi sejadah itu dengan airmata...berzikirlah.." i love u ustazah..terima kasih atas segalanya....

Wahai Ibu !!!

2008-11-05T20:06:00.000-08:00

Dalam kehidupan saya,
tidak pernah sekali ibu mencium saya,
memberi belaian ataupun memelukku,

kenapa ibu-ibu(bonda) yang lain boleh,
saya tak pernah rasa pelukkan ibu..
setiap kali ibu berkata dan mengarahkan sesuatu,
kenapa "tengking" yang ibu pilih,
kadang-kadang saya terasa dengan kata-kata ibu,
tapi selalu saya endahkan,
setelah masa kesedihan silam saya cuba saya lupakan,
namun akan kembali bila ibu selalu mengungkitkan lagi,

Alangkah pedihnya hati saya tak siapa yang tahu,
kadang-kadang saya bertanya, bilakah kebahgiaan untuk saya
selama-lamanya??

"Ya Allah, kau bukakanlah ruang pintu hati cahaya bahagia
untuk hamba ya Allah..Ampunilah segala dosa-dosa ibu hamba ya Allah..
lembutkanlah hati ibu ya Allah..berikanlah hamba pertunjukmu ya Allah
ke jalan benar dan diredhai...berilah sedikit cahaya hati senyuman di hati hamba.."

Amin ya Rabbalalamin..

Memang dalam kehidupan ini ada susah dan senang
Jika tidak ada salah satu diantaranya, maka bosanlah hidup inikan??
Itulah corak-corak kehidupan manusia..yang sering bertukar-tukar..

Hmm...kini saya telah pun memutuskan untuk lanjutkan pelajaran lagi walau apa pun rintangan..kerana pernah lagi seorang sahabat dan pernah hadir menjadi kekasih dalam hidup saya memberi sokongan dan falsahfah untuk "belajarlah rajin-rajin supaya cemerlang dalam hidup..", Walaupun kesusahan itu adalah permulaan..

bak kata pepatah..susah dulu, senang kemudian..

2008-11-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

Tangisan dalam senyumanku,
Terlindung dari mata dan fikiranmu,
tak pernah dikau tahu,
tak pernah kau peduli,
perihal hati yang aku alami,
kau hanya inginku turuti
setiap gerak dari telunjukmu
sedangkan aku jua
punya hasrat punya rasa
tetapi tidak mampu untuk bersuara

sesekali aku ingin dihargai
janganlah aku diletakkan ketepi
sesekali aku ingin merasakan
kemanisan cinta dalam satu genggaman

Aku mengharap kau mengerti
menyelami yang terjadi
Apa sebenar yang terbuku dalam hati ini
Aku tidak sanngup
meneruskan hidup begini
di dalam sangkar
yang penuh berduri...

$$$ Budget $$$

2008-11-05T19:25:00.000-08:00

Jiwaku kesepian pada malam ini, entah mengapa, rasa rindu dan bosan pun ade,
entahlah perjalanan mana lagi harus saya melangkah...menuju pelajaran atau kerjaya..
Hasrat saya ingin meneruskan pelajaran lagi, dengan sijil pelajaranlah dapat saya meneruskan kerjaya yang tetap dan dengan sijillah hati saya baru rasa tenang dan senang.
Tetapi itu semua memakan budget lebih untuk meneruskan dengan hanya kerja part-time sahaja cuma dapat berapa ganjarannya....mengumpul sikit demi sedikit seharusnya menjadi bukit malah apabila mengais setiap hari bukit itu tidak akan tinggi walau sebagaimanapun hanya tetap begitu sahaja...hinggalah kini saya tak tentu arah jadinya...
Setiap hari cuba dan mencuba lagi untuk berjimat dan takkan memboros lagi kerana saya tahu saya ini serba kekurangan. Semua hutang-hutang rumah,elektrik, air, api dan talipon mesti dibereskan semuanya ingin pertolongan saya, saya dah tak boleh berkata ape, hanya tunngu sehingga budget saya dah lebih barulah saya dapat belajar lagi...tapi bila??dan sampai bila...saya nak uruskan hutang-hutang tu..bilakah hutang-hutang itu akan henti?? Ada ayah dan ibu tapi tak selalu harus saya mengharapkan pada mereka kerana mereka ada urusan tersendiri...Haruslah saya mengorbankan masa untuk penyelesaian ini..Bila saya akan dapat belajar kembali jika situasi begini?? dan bila saya dapat kerja yang tetap seumur hidup saya??
Saya tak nak jadi macam gini sempit selamanya..ramai di luar orang tertawakan saya.

Persoalannya : Bilakah saya dapat belajar lagi??
Sampai bila hutang-hutang itu henti??

Memang bosan tapi kenyataan hidup bagi saya ini harus ditelan, beginilah saya sekarang...haiz..

2008-11-05T05:59:00.000-08:00

Kegelapan malam ini menyeksakan jiwa,
Mengharap bintang akan bersinar
kesepian hati ini mengundang derita

Aku menanti kata hati
Darimu satu pasti
Cinta....bisikkanlah asmaraku,
Padanya gelora di kalbu,
Hembusan nafas ini hanyalah kepadanya
Mencintai setulus hati..

Cinta bukakanlah asmaranya..

2008-11-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

Cinta itu ibarat sungai yang mengalir terus
hingga ke muara mencari destinasi untuk singgah dan meneruskan
semula pencarian ke destinasi yang lain pula..

kadangkala cinta itu seperti burung yang bebas terbang dan mencari
pasangan tapi adakalanya dia sendiri terlupa pada cinta pertamanya
lalu terjadilah konflik mencari kesetiaan dan kejujuran dari perabung langit
yang menjanjikan detik dan waktu yang berasingan...

Penantian adalah satu seksa bila tanpa balas...
Siang berganti malam, biarlah sunyi menyeliputi alam dan sepi adalah teman disisi....

dedicated "someone like you and aku tak mau sendiri"

2008-10-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

Someone Like U - BUNGA CITRA LESTARI

Aku Tak Mau Sendiri - Bunga Citra Lestari